Chivalry and Chaos
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Starving Artist Aesthetic

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I'm a winner?

4/30/2016

1 Comment

 
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       Yesterday I was awarded the Anne Hopewell Selby Award for Critical Writing. Weird right?  I feel proud of my accomplishment, but  it's also very strange to win things and for people to congratulate you. I feel as though  I can hear the disdain and annoyance in their voices, and then I can hear my own voice chiming a "thank you," and then verbalizing some type of bragging that  makes my skin crawl.  It feels uncontrollable, being a total d*ck, and it's horrifying because you can see the tiny eye rolls of the people around you and feel their hatred toward you.  Maybe i'm exaggerating, or imagining the eye rolls and the hate, but it's how I see those around me and how I perceive their interactions with me.

         Is that weird? I think it's weird. I'm weird.  

         Anyway... I won, and I won some money too, which I will be spending in Italy this summer :)  My winning essay is posted on my site, under the essay tab.  It's titled, "Disney Damage and Princess Culture:  The Dark Realities of Objectification and Repressive Ideologies."  Read it if you'd like, don't if you don't. 

    The most enjoyable part of winning this award was attending the end of the year English Department  party. I enjoy being surrounded by professors  and friends, and seeing all my favorite people, like Dr. Jennifer Rupert! She's the best! And she won  a teaching award too!  I was more excited about her  receiving   an award than I  was about  receiving  mine.  I'm her biggest fan, she knows this. It was a great day, sad because I had to say goodbye to one of my classes and a great professor, Anna Kornbluh, but happy because it ended on a good note. Hopefully she forgives me for the horrific essay I turned in earlier in the day...  

​      Being around these great and successful people makes me want to become a professor, but at the same time  it reminds me about how  they don't get paid enough and are underfunded because of the  University and the Illinois government. It's not right, and frankly pisses me off. I believe that the people who educate others should be respected and  paid a livable wage. They should also have healthcare  benefits... 


        There I go again, going on a tangent... So overall, I'm a winner, don't hate me, professors are cool so pay them. Have a great weekend! And make sure to catch the second episode of Game of Thrones on Sunday night!
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1 Comment
Dan Caine link
2/21/2020 19:42:44

I found your blog while looking up “Anne Hopewll Shelby” on Google. Congratulations! I’ll read your piece if I can find it ( it very good at navigating around the’net).

I won the award myself as a grad student at UIC in 1991, well before you were born. It was about Edmund Spenser’s views on Ireland and hope to post it on my own blog if I can find the energy: it’s 22 pages long!

Don’t feel weird, You should be proud.

DC

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    Cristina R.

    Artist, Writer, Reader, Gamer, Plant Enthusiast.

    "She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together."  -Salinger

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