Chivalry and Chaos
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Starving Artist Aesthetic

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I'm a winner?

4/30/2016

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       Yesterday I was awarded the Anne Hopewell Selby Award for Critical Writing. Weird right?  I feel proud of my accomplishment, but  it's also very strange to win things and for people to congratulate you. I feel as though  I can hear the disdain and annoyance in their voices, and then I can hear my own voice chiming a "thank you," and then verbalizing some type of bragging that  makes my skin crawl.  It feels uncontrollable, being a total d*ck, and it's horrifying because you can see the tiny eye rolls of the people around you and feel their hatred toward you.  Maybe i'm exaggerating, or imagining the eye rolls and the hate, but it's how I see those around me and how I perceive their interactions with me.

         Is that weird? I think it's weird. I'm weird.  

         Anyway... I won, and I won some money too, which I will be spending in Italy this summer :)  My winning essay is posted on my site, under the essay tab.  It's titled, "Disney Damage and Princess Culture:  The Dark Realities of Objectification and Repressive Ideologies."  Read it if you'd like, don't if you don't. 

    The most enjoyable part of winning this award was attending the end of the year English Department  party. I enjoy being surrounded by professors  and friends, and seeing all my favorite people, like Dr. Jennifer Rupert! She's the best! And she won  a teaching award too!  I was more excited about her  receiving   an award than I  was about  receiving  mine.  I'm her biggest fan, she knows this. It was a great day, sad because I had to say goodbye to one of my classes and a great professor, Anna Kornbluh, but happy because it ended on a good note. Hopefully she forgives me for the horrific essay I turned in earlier in the day...  

​      Being around these great and successful people makes me want to become a professor, but at the same time  it reminds me about how  they don't get paid enough and are underfunded because of the  University and the Illinois government. It's not right, and frankly pisses me off. I believe that the people who educate others should be respected and  paid a livable wage. They should also have healthcare  benefits... 


        There I go again, going on a tangent... So overall, I'm a winner, don't hate me, professors are cool so pay them. Have a great weekend! And make sure to catch the second episode of Game of Thrones on Sunday night!
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a little poem to darken your day

4/22/2016

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Don't smile at me. Don't wait for the light to turn green. Don't beckon me with your arms in waving motions that look like you're treading water and pulling sand toward you at the same time. Don't smile and say my name. Don't look at me with those eyes. Don't say that you've been wanting to talk to me. Don't. Don't do any of it. Don't frown when I ignore you. Don't make me feel bad for avoiding you. I have to avoid you. You're poison and I've had too much of you. I'm barely alive at this point. I'm floating. I'm angry. I'm a storm with rolling clouds of gray and loud thunder and pelting rain that stings. You're cold and dark and deadly, like sharp rocks in the sea. Don't smile at me. Don't say my name. Don't.

​04/20/16

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Also, almost done with this painting!
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Ron Swanson 

4/10/2016

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Ron F'ing Swanson... no more need be said. Enjoy:
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Also, watch these great Andy moments:

Enjoy your Sunday!
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Wood Crafts and Chivalry

4/10/2016

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So lately I find myself drawn to wood crafting. About a month or two ago there was a day where I was feeling really down, and if I remember correctly I watched a video of a scene from the show Parks and Recreation  where Leslie gifts her husband Ben a replica of the Iron Throne from Game of Thrones, and after watching this i got this crazy idea that I should build my own life size replica out of wood. Crazy right?  Well after visiting the Michael's near the Belmont red line stop, I realized that this idea wasn't only crazy, but extremely expensive, and so I ended up buying a small amount of wood with a new idea: built a sword!

​And so I did. It took about most of my Friday night and Saturday morning to carve the individual pieces and then get them glued and painted, but I multi-tasked so I wasn't bored at any point. The end result turned out to be amazing. The handle doesn't and it hasn't fallen to pieces since I put it together, so I'm proud of it. It's not sharp, obviously, but I think it could hurt someone if they were to be hit with full force behind it. 
The aforementioned video
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The sword  now sits behind my favorite print. It showcases the neighborhoods of Chicago, and hangs above my  TV. It's basically my pride and joy, the sword I mean, so it gets to be the center piece of my room which is a certain aesthetic representation of myself.
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The images above show  some of the progress. The first is  an image of the sword glued together  before being painted. The second is me holding it proudly, and realizing that I must be a huge nerd for thinking it was the absolute coolest thing in the world.
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I'M SO PROUD OF THIS SWORD. CAN YOU TELL?

Anyway, I did eventually craft my Iron Throne replica, but on a much smaller scale then I had initially planned. AND IT'S AWESOME. I had left over wood from my sword building project, so I started cutting out tiny swords and then this happened:
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My miniature replica is another pride and joy of mine, and it sits proudly on my desk with a miniature deer figurine sitting on it. Obviously I've predicted the outcome of Game of Thrones. THE FAWNS WILL WIN THE GAME OF THRONES! hahaha... I'm ridiculously lame, I apologize.  
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Now my next project is a deer, and right now I've only just glued the ears  on. I don't know where i'll take this idea yet, but right now it's still in the early stages. I've got to get more wood! LOL
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I tried salvaging wood ("borrowing") from  a neighbor's pile of sticks in their backyard, but now I realize that I don't have the right tools to do anything more than peel the bark away... So in the future who knows, maybe I'll actually learn more and become a carpenter like Jesus or Bernie Sanders.  
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I'm hoping to take a sculpture class  in my final semester of school which is only two semesters away! June 2017 I should be done with undergrad! Or maybe I'll stick around longer to finish a second major in art...... not sure yet, but I just know that wood crafting is cool to me at this moment in time, and i'd like to develop more skills...
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-CR
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Game of Thrones is almost here!

4/6/2016

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On April 24th GOT will return for a sixth season! I'm beyond excited!  And did you hear about Kit Harington and Rose Leslie!  I'm so freaking happy for them!!
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"All men must die"
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WINTER IS COMING!  Did you see that snow the other day? Snow in April, thanks Chicago. Climate Change is real!
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GOT memes and fan comic strips are too good... hahaha

Kit and Rose
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I'm so happy for Kit and Rose! They're separated by death  on the show, but in real life they're together!  It's the best news and it's gotten me even more excited for the new season! Jon Snow lives! 
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LOVVVVVE is in the air!
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Bernie Wins Wisconsin! / $hillary's a Phony 

4/6/2016

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Also, $hillary NEVER supported $15 minimum wage, yet she didn't miss the chance for a photo-op in NY the other day. She still doesn't support it, but  you know, so long as it seems that way, as long as the media portrays it as such then she wins. She wins at making you believe her lies. She's the biggest liar  I've ever come across and I'm sick of her bullshit. I hope she gets indicted sooner rather than later. 
Yesterday, Tuesday April 5th, Bernie beat $hillary in Wisconsin! People are feeling the BERN! He's on a path to victory that isn't slowing down, and that demon woman's lies will not deter his voters!
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Required Reading

Now, as usual, enjoy some of my favorite recent Dank Memes:
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#ME
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    Cristina R.

    Artist, Writer, Reader, Gamer, Plant Enthusiast.

    "She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together."  -Salinger

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