Chivalry and Chaos
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Poetry

06.01.15

8/21/2017

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She struggled
She fought
She still fights
Everything reminds her of him 
Every street they walked on
Every place they sat to talk
Every place they argued
Even her own reflection
How could that be?
She looked at herself and saw the girl who loved him
She didn’t want to love him anymore
She was broken
Trying to pick up the pieces to this day
And yet he was always in her mind
There was no freedom
No salvation 
He was always invading her thoughts
Her tears were done, but her stomach in knots 
What could she do?
She had to rid herself of him
But even ignoring his existence did nothing
Five months went by
And everyday she thought of him
Some days it was murder fantasies
Some days it was memories 
Good, Bad
It was all the same
It was too much
She didn’t know what to do
He wasn’t good for her
Not really
She knew
He was crazy
She was crazy
It was a recipe for disaster 
But she craved him still
His touch
The way he smelled during the winter
His embrace 
His stupid laugh that annoyed her so
His stupid leather jacket that was falling apart
She knew he would still own it to this day
How could he have claimed their love to be untrue
“Come on, It wasn’t really love,” he said smugly
Her heart shattered 
How could he say that?
Her tears that day were more than all those shed throughout their time
She would never forgive 
That phrase haunted her still
Angered her
At some point she supposed it to be true
But how could it be when she still could not forget him
She hated him
She wanted him
She murdered him over and over in her mind
She loved him over and over in her memories
All her other conquests could not compare
Meaningless encounters are beginning to take their toll
She doesn’t want that
She wants to be loved
Hugged
Miserable 
Happy
​Loved

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    Poetry from the past and present

    Poetry is not my forte, but they say creativity is about being vulnerable. So, here lies all that I am, and all that I ever was. 

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